tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15138991854194215822023-11-16T08:07:30.387-08:00My Crazy LifeMy life is Crazy. With being a full time caregiver for my Father and Sister, plus a wife and Mom to a bunch of furbabies,plus Drag Racing when I have free time. My life is nuts, and this is my way to vent the frustrations of daily struggles.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-22603038700591533572013-01-02T15:54:00.000-08:002013-01-02T15:54:18.830-08:002013Well a new year has started. Last year was crazy. Dad spent almost 7 months in either the hospital or rehab centers. I missed almost every race. I said goodbye to two of my furkids. <br />
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And I also said goodbye to one of my best friends. I really hope that 2013 is better than 2012.<br />
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In spite of all the bad days. There are things I won't forget about 2012. We had some friends get Married. I was able to watch Charger grow from a furball puppy, to a very handsome doggie. <br />
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I am looking forward to the next race season. Cody is going to be on a new bike, running a new program. We purchased a toyhauler so the whole family can go to the races, so I will only miss one or two events. <br />
I am also making plans for our garden this summer and our 4th of July camping trip. I will also continue on my journey to better health with Herbalife, and work on making a business out of it. <br />
So I hope that all of you have a wonderful New Year, and may you reach your Goals. :) RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-78639528424135637542012-11-06T11:35:00.000-08:002012-11-06T11:35:35.350-08:00Uggg! FrustrationI know it has been a while since I have posted anything. <br />
I am so frustrated right now. I took Dad into the VA for respite care so I could go to the Halloween Classic. They decided that he would benefit from some very aggressive physical therapy. He is home now and doing better. However while he was in there we started the process to get a grant to have our bathroom on the main floor of the house remodeled to include a shower so we can move Dad downstairs. Well reading the application we have to be ADA compliant. I have no issue with that, but we don't really have the room to do it without some major changes in the house. SO I called today to get clarification, and was told that the only thing that we would need to be concerned with is the Shower, as that is what the grant is for. But then I was thrown for another loop as Dad is NOT service connected, and so he only qualifies for $2,000.00. I think that it will take at least 4 thousand to do the shower. So we are hosed. <br />
I will still have the contractors I have scheduled come out tomorrow to see if they can do it that cheap, but I don't think that it a possibility. I am so bummed. I was really hoping that we could get this done so we could move Dad downstairs. I know that it would be the most ideal situation as he would be using the dinning room as a bedroom, and would have sheets for doors, but it would eliminate the need for him to ever have to use the stairs. <br />
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Oh well, we will continue on, and do what we can. RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-80591942281596465192012-05-17T07:55:00.000-07:002012-05-17T07:55:14.792-07:00Another Crazy weekThis week has been super crazy. I brought Dad home last Thursday, and we got back into a regular routine on Friday. Friday and Saturday went well, or as well as could be expected with Dad being weak, and tiring easily. So Sunday we get up and I get him in the shower, and then make his breakfast. Well while he was eating he started coughing, and he couldn't stop. He ended up tearing a whole in his left lung again, so we were off to the ER by Ambulance. He collapsed his lung again. So he has been in the hospital since with a chest tube. I am going to try and be up at the hospital early enough to talk to the Dr and see what the next step is, and if Dad can/should come home, or if he needs to go back to rehab for a few more weeks. <br />
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This has been so tough. I love my Dad, and would prefer to take care of him here at home, but he is spending so much time in hospitals and rehab centers I am scared for what it means for his health. I know what the statistics are and they don't favor Dad making a recovery. That really scares me. I am not ready to lose my Dad. And I don't know what if anything I can do to help him get better and make a recovery. Even if it isn't a great recovery, at least get him stable enough to hang around for a while longer. <br />
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So many things keep going through my head and heart that I know that I am over thinking the whole situation. I need to remember to keep my faith in God, and trust that he knows best. And trust in His plan. <br />
<br />RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-24452749405222140332012-05-09T10:45:00.000-07:002012-05-09T10:45:15.225-07:00Dad is coming home tomorrow. It has been a long hard road again. He is doing well, but I know that once he is home any free time that I have had will disappear. He will need a ton of help again, and we will start all over with at home PT, OT and other therapy. Plus the PT at the skilled nursing center has said that Dad will most likely never be able to walk unassisted again. So that means lots of trips up and down the stairs for me. We are getting a bedside commode for him to use while I am out for grocery shopping and other life's errands. I have spent most of the morning getting his sitting room rearranged to accommodate that new piece of equipment. <br />
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Today is also going to be a very hard day for me as we are putting Whiskey to sleep today. She is 15, and she is in a lot of pain. It is time, but it breaks my heart as she is basically my "first born" furbaby. <br />
She has been with me through the hardest times in my life, always willing to give me licks and snuggles. Granted she has also been my problem dog with her fear of loud noises like thunder and fireworks. And she was a jumper and got spooked and ran away quiet a few times. We have had to bail her out of doggy jail (the pound) and she has had her fair share of accidents and major vet bills. She has been a good dog, and she has pulled off some amazing stunts in her life. <br />
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I will always miss you, my Baby girl.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-23610612846276077792012-04-05T10:04:00.000-07:002012-04-05T10:04:50.566-07:00Coming homeDad will be coming home on Wednesday. I am grateful for the small break I have had, but he has to come home once insurance stops covering his care. We did apply for some extra insurance, but they want over $1000 this month if he stays in the rehab facility as a co-pay, and then over $2000 next month. It is so frustrating. He has so much more work to do, and I am not sure how much he will be able to do here. <br />
Plus it will definitely change what I am able to do. I am going to be on lock down for a while. I know that I signed up for this, and I know that I honestly don't have much time left. Dad's health is rapidly declining now, since his fall in Sept when he broke his hip, and we have had just one thing after another since then. I don't think that Dad will bounce back to being able to be independent at any level, and I think that will more than crush his spirit. He doesn't want to be a burden, and I don't feel that he is, but he will feel that way. Especially when I am staying home from races this year (for the most part) and only Cody will be going. I am very upset about that. I will so miss my racing family. And Cody has his 20 year class reunion this summer, and I may not be able to go at all. We had thought about going and then I would fly home from Boise as he will be staying in Boise for a race, but I am not sure we will be able to make that work. I want to be with Cody for that. It isn't something that happens every year, like a lot of the races I am going to miss this year. I know that I will be able to go to them again, as we will have plenty of time for that when this adventure is complete. I am sure we will work it all out. We always do, I am a fixer and a problem solver and we make things work.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-24760905490639207332012-02-17T12:06:00.000-08:002012-02-17T12:06:24.750-08:00UUUGGG, Really?I never thought it would be this hard. I am not sure I can do this anymore. Dad needs constant help! He tried going to the bathroom on his own today, and yep you guessed it, He fell again. No injury, but now it will be at least another week before he even thinks to attempt it. <br />
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Sis is pushing buttons. She totally ignored hubby on Wednesday when I was out walking, and he is ready to leave. I don't blame him, I am ready to follow too. We have 7 weeks until our first big race and right now I don't think I am going to be able to go. I can't afford to have someone here 24/7, and Dad can't be left alone for more than a couple of hours. <br />
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I am so overwhelmed. Hubby is doing the best he can to help, and I have wonderful friends that are willing to stay with Dad for a while, but I am going nucking futs! Hopefully things settle down soon, but I am not very optimistic at this time.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-49560384804727093252012-01-21T21:40:00.000-08:002012-01-21T21:55:32.483-08:00I don't know if I am strong enough!Today was hell. I am so fucking tired. My wonderful husband let me sleep in today. But after that everything went to hell. Dad was whiny and demanding, and Sis was pushing her buttons as usual but the breaking point for me came when Dad hollered to go to the bathroom (in the middle of his lunch) and hubby and I were talking. Well I left in the middle of our conversation, and got Dad into the bathroom just to find a plugged toilet. So while I am trying to get the toilet working, Dad has an accident. <br /><br />I lost it. I know it was a little thing to have a meltdown over, but it was the straw that broke this camels back. I don't know if I should look for a job and then get Dad and Sis into assisted living homes, so I can have my life back, or just suck it up and chalk it up to a bad day and move on. I will probably just chalk it up to a bad day, but I am really questioning why God thinks I am this strong. <br /><br />I haven't had a break from Dad and or Sis since August of last year. I was hoping to get a weekend this month but it didn't happen. February is not looking good either. I just need a few hours to let go and unwind a bit. But there is always something or someone who comes first for me lately. I know I chose this life but I am forgetting who I AM. Right now I feel like I am only her to serve the needs of everyone else. What about me, what about my marriage. I feel so bad for my husband, he not only is working to support all of us, he has to deal with a wife that is a basket case on most days because I am overwhelmed. I haven't had a shower in a week because I can't find the time to do it. And the last time I showered, I wasn't even dried off from the shower and Dad needed to go to the bathroom again. I had made sure and taken him just before I got in the shower. <br /><br />I am so tired. And so scared that I am not strong enough to handle this anymore. I never thought that I would be doing this alone. I have great friends who do what they can, and I have wonderful support from extended family, but no one is close enough to really help out on a regular basis. Please God grant me the strength to continue on this path. I need your help to make it through this very difficult time, yet again.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-47759110450109229082012-01-13T11:57:00.000-08:002012-01-13T12:29:23.098-08:00Starting over yet again!Well 2011 was a pretty crappy year overall. It did have it's good momements, and things were pretty quiet until late in the year. <br /><br />I wanted to Celebrate when Dad hit his one year mark from his fall. Things were going well. We managed to make it to a few races, and we even went camping over the Fourth of July with some really good friends. Then after we got home from the Team Finals in September I offered to take my girlfriends girls for the weekend so she could spend some quality time with her significant other. Well low and behold, Dad fell and broke his hip. So after surgery to repair the hip, his heart starts freaking out. Another surgery to put in a pacemaker/defibulator. Now off to rehab, again. He finally got home the a few weeks before Thanksgiving. He was extremely week and had a very hard time managing the stairs. So instead of going home to Idaho for Christmas, we re-arranged the house and moved Dad upstairs permantly. <br /><br />Yeah, now he has more energy, and he is getting up and going to the bathroom on his own, and things are slowly but surely getting back to our normal(which is crazy for anyone else). On his last visit with Physical Therapy, he had trouble breathing. 911 to the rescue, and we found out he tore a whole in his lung from COUGHING! He spent another week in the hospital and came home 2 days ago. <br /><br />So now we are back to Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Nursing visits, and Dad needing help with getting up and into the bathroom and all that fun stuff again. <br /><br /><br />And to top it all off, we have a new puppy so things are super crazy all the time here out our house. <br /><br />I have to say a great big THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU, to our wonderful friends who help me deal with this crazy ass life of mine, and for doing your best to help keep me sane. I know it is a lot of work. I am so blessed to have you all in my life, and you know who you are! :) <br /><br />I really hope that Dad's recovery is short and easy. We all need a break. We have to get moving on getting everything race ready. Race season is fast approaching and we have lots to do.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-3585558696177992442011-05-31T22:19:00.000-07:002011-05-31T22:35:38.637-07:0015 Years! Really<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy7vI7sPGg7KtR4J97lLcijm7Lqizn1RBkTO0QfsEunwzno4ErNYjT2llEMMtpxQOXnK4WC8SV-6DMIxuUZq1IhIZyTYGAXMWnYwmGi0Fw1QIF5zza10tIH201ohtZZEQNkXELRGzrxD4/s1600/Our+Wedding+003.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 318px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy7vI7sPGg7KtR4J97lLcijm7Lqizn1RBkTO0QfsEunwzno4ErNYjT2llEMMtpxQOXnK4WC8SV-6DMIxuUZq1IhIZyTYGAXMWnYwmGi0Fw1QIF5zza10tIH201ohtZZEQNkXELRGzrxD4/s320/Our+Wedding+003.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5613120308857954082" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNuS7UIit2Ztn8mA2WYMcTJ47S4bNenaPsFkn4AbVehXBq_WLd3Cx6aNGyG_u4o9E2zr0nbhmeEZrTW_iqJ6tOy-ZPnupKdvQikRPXfSRN9UTzs3swYKdg283ZSrw0l1yd5zlaikpe5RM/s1600/Our+Wedding+006.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 318px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNuS7UIit2Ztn8mA2WYMcTJ47S4bNenaPsFkn4AbVehXBq_WLd3Cx6aNGyG_u4o9E2zr0nbhmeEZrTW_iqJ6tOy-ZPnupKdvQikRPXfSRN9UTzs3swYKdg283ZSrw0l1yd5zlaikpe5RM/s320/Our+Wedding+006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5613120030521073666" /></a><br />I married my best friend 15 years ago today! <br />He is the love of my life, my rock, my support and my partner in all things. I couldn't imagine my life without him. We have had our ups and downs, our ins and outs but we have always weathered the storm and come through the other side better than when we went in.<br /><br />A lot has changed in the 15 years we have been married. So many friends have come and gone. So many things are different. Most people who get married as young as we did don't last, and I think that is because they don't grow together. We have always been connected and committed to each other first. Everything else is secondary. We are lucky to both have a love of cars and racing. Even before I had my own car, I was at the track taking picture's and supporting my Man in his racing. And now that I do have my own car, he helps and supports me as well. We are in it together. I see so many people at the track who's partner is not there and I always wonder how they can make it with out sharing the same passion. Kids grow up and move away, families change, and you will be left with just your partner at some point, and what will you do if you don't share your passion? <br />I am so blessed. I thank God every day for giving me Cody! He was even my Birthday Present as we met on my 19th birthday. There is a reason for everything. Cody is my sanity in my Crazy Life. He is what keeps me grounded and in touch with reality. <br />Here is to the next 15 years! <br />May they be as happy and as wonderful as the last 15! Thank you baby, for dealing with me and my Crazy Life.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-5191666088145888222011-05-16T08:57:00.001-07:002011-05-16T09:43:15.998-07:00Inspiration?About a month ago I commented on my friends facebook page some words of encouragement because of the hard time she was going through. She replied to me that I was an Inspiration to her. And I have been thinking about it ever since. <br /><br />I don't think that what I do is inspirational. I do what I have to. I deal with the hand that I have been dealt. I try to be positive about it because life is way to short to be bitchy and cranky about the things you can't change. Maybe that is what is Inspirational. <br /><br />I am inspired by many of my friends who have taken on many challenges and faced them head on. I have many friends that are single Mom's that sacrifice so much for their kids. I have a girlfriend that overcame a horrible childhood to become a wonderful wife and mother. I know people who have overcome so many hardships and still smile about the little things in life. <br /><br />Life is hard. I don't think it is supposed to be easy. I think that we are supposed to be faced with hard choices, and it is how we face those choices that make us who we are. Yes, it probably would have been easier to make the choice to put Dad in an assisted living center, and to put Sis in a group home, so I could be free of the burden of taking care of them. But what kind of person would I have become? I always knew that I would end up looking after my sister. I honestly think she is the reason I was born. I believe that God knew that my Sister would need someone to look after her. I am please to have made that choice! I didn't expect it to be such a hard choice, but I know I made the right one. <br /><br />Then when it came time to help my Dad, it was a harder choice. Just because I knew that I would have to give up my job, and everything that involved. I loved my job and I was damn good at it. I loved the people I worked with, and I was happy. But family comes first. Or at least it should. <br /><br />How many people really make that choice though? How many people put family first? Most parents do put their children first, but how many children put their parents first? How many of our elderly that are in nursing homes and assisted living center's being cared for my stranger's have children that could be taking care of them? Maybe that is why I am inspirational? <br /><br />I never planned on being an Ispiration to anyone. I just try to do the best I can with the hand that I have been dealt. I don't see the benefit of complaining about a situation that I have limited control over. Life is short. Life is hard, but you only make it harder, and more miserable if you choose to see the negative instead of embracing the positive. Life is a series of choices and it is what you make it. Happiness is a choice. It is a reaction to the world around you. Find joy in the simple things. The soft fur of a pet, the sound of the wind. The smell of the rain, The warmth of the sun. Take Pleasure in the smile of a child. The smell of spring flowers. The smell of the damp leaves in fall. The touch of a snowflake on your face. The coo of a newborn baby. The life all around you. Enjoy it, embrace it. Take your joy and your happiness anyway you can get it. Smile, life is a adventure that is supposed to wear you out. You only get one shot at this joy ride. Make it the best ride you can!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-50754090870792989062011-02-18T10:57:00.000-08:002011-02-18T11:25:44.170-08:00One year LaterWell it has been a year. Well tomorrow it will be a year since Dad fell. So many things have changed. <br />Dad is doing well, and I am happy to celebrate the Year mark. One of the classes I had to attend last year for my continuing education, gave a statistic that 1 in 3 senior's that has a fall resulting in Hospitalization pass away with in a year from the fall. <br />I miss my job, and my friends from work. I still talk to and see them once in a while, but it isn't like I am there everyday. I am trying to get into a routine of things, and most of the time it works. However, I have learned that since I no longer have to do 5 million things at once, I can't remember anything. I have to write EVERYTHING down, or else I will forget. <br />I never wanted to be a housewife. It was never in my DNA to be happy at home. I have yet to find a hobby, other than reading, and I am not sure what I want to do. I don't have the crafty talent that my Mom did, and I don't have talents for drawing or painting. I have tried my hand at writing but I haven't been inspired by a story yet. <br />Most day's are spent in a boring routine. However I am happy about that. I don't miss the stress and worry of Dad being in the hospital, and rehab center's. <br />I look forward to race season, and all that comes with it, and I do like the fact that Cody and I have more time on the weekends to do fun stuff, since I am doing the chore stuff during the week. I also like the fact that we can race a little bit more since we both don't have to worry about time off, and with Cody's job he can work any hours to get his 40 hours a week. <br />I just wish I could do more to get us ready for the race season. We have so much to do still, and we are rapidly running out of time. <br />This is one year that has been a rollercoaster of up's and down's and in's and out's. However it is a year that I am grateful of wonderful friends who have done so much for us. I owe a big thanks to so many who have helped out, Dad sitting, listening to me vent, being there when I was at my wits end, and keeping me propped up during the hardest times.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-61628260687407509162011-02-03T10:39:00.000-08:002011-02-03T10:58:42.604-08:00Summer where are you????I am so irritated!!!!! Winter has been hard for me. No escapes to look forward too,,, nothing to break up the same ol' same ol'. I am not complaining that everyone is healthy. I am very grateful that there is no major upheaval going on. However every little thing is irritating the shit out of me. Sis is being a big old pain in the ass. She is pushing buttons and not listening, which is normal, but it is pissing me off more than usual. <br />Dad is whining about little things and it is making me want to snap at him. I don't think he is doing it intentionally. At least I hope not. And it is little stupid things. Like every time I dish up his dinner,,, he has to go to the bathroom at that exact moment. I can't eat my dinner until he is settled and has taken one of his med's because it has to be refrigerated. So I have to wait until he is done taking that med to put in away. And it seems like it is every night. And for some freaking reason this week his oxygen cord has been an issue. It hasn't been an issue for months,, but all the sudden this week he is getting it caught in the wheel's of the walker, or it is getting tangled up and knotted, and when he hollers for help his voice totally grates on my nerves. I understand he can't do it on his own, but does he have to sound like a whinny two year old????? He has also been whining about his feet. He has a big callous on each foot, but he is acting like it is a life and death issue. We set up an appointment with the foot doctor, but he is making it into a huge issue. <br />I know that I have cabin fever, and I am looking forward to race season. But we have soooooooo much work to do before we are ready and we are very quickly running out of time. I also wish that the weather was just a little bit better so I could spend more time outside. I need to do a lot of work in the yard, and I am chomping at the bit to have it done. Well enough venting. Hopefully it will prevent an all out meltdown.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-32780112959928142892010-12-17T12:34:00.000-08:002010-12-17T13:17:04.323-08:00Merry Christmas, and Happy New YearWell to say it has been an eventful year would be the understatement of the decade for me. <br /><br />January started out somewhat calm. I was worried and praying for my Aunt who was battling pneumonia. But Cody was on the mend finally and we were looking forward to our year of racing. We were trying to figure out what projects could get done in the small amount of time we had left before racing season started. We had already decided to wait to put the diesel motor in the motor home as that is a HUGE project and Cody wasn't quiet up to it with his hand yet. <br /><br />We were enjoying the relative peace. Then Wiskey got sick again and we had her back into the Vet's for another surgery. She had eaten more stuffing and had blocked up her stomach again. (She had done the same thing while we were at our last race of 2009) She came through the surgery fine. But she has become once expensive doggie. Cody suggested we call her "supercharger" because with all the vet bills he could have bought a supercharger for his Camaro! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2vHPq9NVn20GVBq3rPG3uZMfTvV4dho-yTT8yNXlXEDK5lekSv32NwE9rK3tP3vJASNWftpXXVpPq63YEazU9WIxsW76aYNLyh_-3T1PWoV1OvbW5imSN0O8wWfyVT6Q8BUJRlgzpac/s1600/cody1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2vHPq9NVn20GVBq3rPG3uZMfTvV4dho-yTT8yNXlXEDK5lekSv32NwE9rK3tP3vJASNWftpXXVpPq63YEazU9WIxsW76aYNLyh_-3T1PWoV1OvbW5imSN0O8wWfyVT6Q8BUJRlgzpac/s320/cody1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551754419488763330" /></a><br /><br />Then in February I had Traci's annual meeting with her caseworker. I was able to increase my care hours for her to the point we could afford for me to stay home. Cody and I talked and talked and talked about it and we had decided that I would continue working until the end of the year and we would take the time and the extra to pay off bills and put some money into savings for emergencies. It was such a great plan, but it fell apart the very next day. That is when Dad fell down the stairs. <br />I remember so clearly hearing the crash. I came flying down the stairs to see Dad on his side at the bottom of the stairs. He was trying to stand up. I called 911 and told him that he was going to stay on the floor until the Paramedics got here and told me he was fine. Well he wasn't. He broke 8 ribs, punctured his lung and cracked his pelvis. He spent the next 5 weeks in ICU sedated and hooked up to all sorts of machines. <br />Cody took over cooking and caring for Traci, as I was working and spending my time at the hospital. I don't really remember much of March. I was meeting with so many Doctors and nurses and caseworkers. It was a very scary time. <br />I do remember coming home from the hospital one night to bloody kitty prints on my floor. While Cody was cooking dinner, Tiger had hurt himself. So after we couldn't get the bleeding to stop it was off to the ER Vet with the cat. <br />After months of hospitals and rehab centers and being pulled in 500 different directions Dad came home. I had requested FMLA from work hoping and praying that I could get Dad back on his feet enough so that I could go back to work. That was not to be. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. I mean I loved my job. It was fun and the people I worked with were awesome, and I couldn't even imagine working somewhere else. Not many people can say they loved their job like that. Even on the worst day's I still looked forward to getting up and going into work the next day. <br />So now I am home and don't really know what to do with myself. Dad has physical therapy, and occupational therapy and doctor appointment and doctor appointment. <br />We start to settle into a routine and just as we are getting it all worked out, Dad goes back into the hospital with a intestinal blockage. The Dr's are starting to irritate me with their wait and see approach but they finally do surgery to remove some scar tissue. Now we are back to PT and OT and follow up and trying to get Dad back to a healthy weight. <br />Once we get back to a good spot we take a week long road trip to visit Dad's siblings. We head to Idaho and see Aunt Rosemary and we also saw Dennis (my oldest brother) and my Sis in Love, as well as my Inlaws. Then we head to Elko to see Uncle Jim, (and Kids) Aunt Sharon was in the hospital so we were not able to visit with her. We also missed seeing a couple of cousin's but we were able to see the majority of the family. <br />We got home and Dad came down with a fever the next day. I took him into the Dr and he had pneumonia. So we battled that for almost a month total, and now we are back to being mostly healthy. <br /><br />Cody and I were able to race this year. Cody did great going to the finals in 50% of the races he attended! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjT13HZrbuIannWQSTOgFbKXQ8Rxdfd4AXg_imKGqsvBKQ-qIVH3X0rUfEjIljJbiQT3AKXovxagQT-isHJPE1m1j51M287jlrWnXCZcA5RXGuRPf1YO6eOJJ_Mx7PoOptxYbYGGy3t9E/s1600/Halloween+Classic+2010+020.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjT13HZrbuIannWQSTOgFbKXQ8Rxdfd4AXg_imKGqsvBKQ-qIVH3X0rUfEjIljJbiQT3AKXovxagQT-isHJPE1m1j51M287jlrWnXCZcA5RXGuRPf1YO6eOJJ_Mx7PoOptxYbYGGy3t9E/s320/Halloween+Classic+2010+020.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551760785576277778" /></a><br />I of course blew up my engine 1/2 way through the year. I was doing well before that and had even made it to the Semi-Finals!<br />Cody lost in the final round at the team race in Canada. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1xFc7s4JsfNTkcMwtX6ju_TORj220dyiGfFn6TunuGVFERAXnNuxeRQ5aF3s64cQXP1G82Kj_a3zE5QmGNi5IvdGs4BxgVqRLw0OMt5BnZV1iHVeOraVnL_CZG0H1FJsRmWJa78RJRQ/s1600/Mission+Team+Finals+2010+082.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1xFc7s4JsfNTkcMwtX6ju_TORj220dyiGfFn6TunuGVFERAXnNuxeRQ5aF3s64cQXP1G82Kj_a3zE5QmGNi5IvdGs4BxgVqRLw0OMt5BnZV1iHVeOraVnL_CZG0H1FJsRmWJa78RJRQ/s320/Mission+Team+Finals+2010+082.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551761549586524562" /></a><br />I was so proud of him. He had such a great year. He finished 3rd in the points at Madras and he missed 6 events! <br />We had a blast as usual at the Halloween Classic! I love that race! Then we got home and Cody started in on the diesel motor for the Motor home, and I started getting ready for Thanksgiving. Cody's Mom and Dad flew up for the holiday and although I only had them for a few days we had a great time! <br />Now we are settling in for the winter and working on getting things done for next year's race season. <br />With all the changes we have had this year, I am still happy to say that they year was good. It is ending much better than it started. <br />I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Blessed New Year.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-67793388391692951742010-11-29T09:01:00.001-08:002010-11-29T09:07:06.316-08:00LostI have no idea what to do or what is going to happen. I seem so lost and confused. Things seem to be falling apart around me and I have no control over anything. My head hurts, my heart hurts and I am so afraid. I have never been scared like this. I don't know what is going to happen and I am not doing well not having control. Or at least an illusion of control. <br /><br />I have so much anger, and so much sadness. I am second guessing my decision to do what I thought was right at the time. But now it seems like that decision will destroy everything else. <br /><br />Please God help me. I am so afraid of this test. Please please don't let him hate me anymore. I can handle almost anything but I know I couldn't handle his hate. It would destroy me beyond repair.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-5307117038657851502010-11-16T09:59:00.001-08:002010-11-16T10:15:09.394-08:00Heavy HeartI have a heavy heart today. My Aunt Elaine is in her final hours on this world. It brings back so many memories of my Mom's passing. However I am jealous because I know that the family will survive as a unit. I so miss my big family. I have done everything I can to try and hold it together, but you can only beat against a brick wall for so long before you don't have any strength left. <br /><br />My Aunt has such a beautiful soul. She was always so caring and giving and just so pure of heart. She was one of the nicest people I have ever had the fortune of knowing. My heart is breaking for her family. I hope that they find peace in knowing that she is going to be reunited with her loving husband who passed last year, as well as her wonderful parents and 3 of her siblings. I know that her family will be waiting with open arms across the veil of this world in Heaven. <br /><br />God, please be with her and her family in this very difficult time. Please bring them peace and comfort knowing that her suffering is at an end. Take care of their heavy hearts and sorrow. Thank you Lord. AmenRockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-17770377857306030002010-11-11T09:25:00.000-08:002010-11-11T09:38:38.080-08:00The routine of thingsI am slowly getting into a routine of things, However I have found that I have lost my mind. I used to be able to do a thousand things at once and know exactly what was going on, but now I have to write down the most ordinary of things or I completely forget to do them. <br /><br />Now that race season is over, I am just doing cleaning and getting ready for my In-Law's visit for Thanksgiving. <br /><br />I also find that the smallest things are irritating me. My husband is driving me crazy. I love him, and I know that things are also frustrating for him but he promised me that he would try to not ride my ass about things and all I have heard from him this week is bitch bitch bitch. Yes my Dad has attitude, and things are stressful but I don't need you (him) treating me like a mindless child. I am not the one who gets to take a 3 hour nap. I am busy from the moment you leave the house until the minute we go to bed. I am always taking care of someone else's needs. Weather it is Dad, Sis or you,,,, who the fuck is taking care of ME!!!???!!!! That is right, no one! Don't get pissy with me because I forgot to make juice, or didn't do some non-immediate need thing. <br /><br />I may be irritated because I know that I don't have any breaks coming up. Nothing to look forward to, to get me out of the rut of life. <br /><br />Did we make the right decision. Should I have put Dad in a assisted living center and Traci in a group home and stayed working? Things would have been tight and that would have presented it own challenges I am sure, but right now those challenges seem like something that would have been easier to deal with. I am sure that it wouldn't be, but they say the grass is always greener on the other side. <br /><br />Well I am off to clean the kitchen and see what else I can get done!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-8183982972338657512010-08-19T20:48:00.000-07:002010-08-19T20:56:30.087-07:00Another new chapterDad was declared legally blind today. He has macular degeneration in both eyes, and has there isn't a prescription available that will help. So now that opens a whole new chapter and issue I get to deal with. <br /><br />The good news is that it changed his status with the VA, and he will no longer have co-pay's, but the bad news is, he can't see anything. There is a "blind camp" that he can go to free of charge with the VA, to learn how to use visual aids and other equipment so he can use his computer and things. They gave him some MaxxTV glasses, and he looks like Poindexter, but at least he can see the TV. <br /><br />I am going to Contact the state and see if him being blind will change his status as far as getting in home care. It would be very nice to be able to have them pay for respite care instead of paying for it out of pocket. <br /><br /><br />On another note, we are going to visit family next month. We are going to take almost a week and go to IF to see Dad's sister(and I get to see my wonderful in law's and some really great friends) and then we are going to Elko to see Dad's brother and most of his kids! I am excited, it has been almost a year since I have seen family!!!! Last October and November for most, although I did see my in law's in May. But I have great in law's and only a few times a year kills me.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-1283724729532954222010-08-05T21:27:00.001-07:002010-08-05T21:51:52.921-07:00I feel like MY LIFE is over.I am so upset and frusterated right now, I feel like my life is over. I know that I am just tired from the lack of sleep, and irritated that the VA took so long to do a surgery on Dad while he just got weaker and weaker! He hadn't gained back enough weight from the fall in Feb, and two weeks of not eating for two weeks while he was in the hospital and them not getting him up and walking so he is just soooooo weak. <br /><br />I am pissed that Dad doesn't qualify for State medical so I don't get any income to stay home with him, but I am fine with that, but it also doesn't help me find respite care. I really want to go to the races with Cody next weekend for MY birthday, but nope, I get to stay home and not do anything but take care of Dad. Then the week of my birthday I get to spend at the VA because Dad has 3 appts that week, the 17th the 18th (my birthday) and the 19th!!!! <br /><br />I know it is childish to be whinning about the fact that I don't get to do anything for my birthday but at this point I don't even think that I will get to go out to dinner. Our Anniversary was runied as well, and I am just mad that I have to do this alone. I know that I have help from Cody and from some great friends but right now I feel lost in a sea of despair and hopelessness. And I know that I have to do this again!!! Dad still has to have his hernia repaired! So it will be another surgery and another turn with PT and OT, and people telling me how to make MY HOUSE more sutible for Dad. It just pisses me off that people don't seem to care that it is MY House and I have to live here too, and that I don't plan on turning my house into a retierment house! I need to be able to live here too! <br /><br />I feel so alone in this struggle, and when I talk to Cody he lets me know how frusterated and irritated he is as well and I have no one that I can really vent to. If I vent to much to Cody we are going to end up in a fight because he is just as stressed out as I am, and knowing that I am stuck here doesn't help. I am so mad that I have to give up what I want to do! And Dad is so much more work right now than he was when he came home in April that I am just devistated! And maybe I am just irritated, but it seems like Dad isn't trying as hard to get back to where he was!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-39711980362899718442010-08-03T08:47:00.001-07:002010-08-03T09:00:11.633-07:00Back to Square OneWell actually we are behind square one. Dad is home from the hospital, and needs more help than he did when he came home from the fall. He is having issues with bladder and bowel control, as well as he will be back on oxygen while active. <br />I am so frustrated, any strides we made in the last 3 months are gone, and I am once again tied to home. I am not sure I can even leave for a few minutes to run to the store or take a bike ride. Dad is in no condition to travel with us, so even if my dragster was up and running, I would be done for the year. I tried to find a sitter for the next race, and both of the ones I can rely on have other things going on, which I totally understand, but since the state won't cover in home care, I can't get respite care in here with out it being out of pocket at $20+ an hour, and it would cost more to have someone come in for Dad than it would for us to race. <br /> I am praying and hoping that it doesn't take Dad to long to bounce back from this and he can gain back his limited independence that he had before he went in, so I can also have some independence again! I love my father and will do what is necessary to care for him but this feels like a huge backslide! I really hope that he gets on his feet before we go to see family in late September. That is 7 weeks away from today. I am sure that he will make great strides between now and then, we have a stubborn streak!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-1974894376076146582010-07-27T07:24:00.000-07:002010-07-27T07:41:14.632-07:00So much has happenedIn the few weeks since I last posted. I blew up the engine in my car at the Drag Racing school that I went to, and Dad is in the hospital so we probably WON'T make it to the reunion this weekend. <br /><br />First off, my poor engine, The #7 rod broke at the wrist pin and put a hole in both sides of the oil pan as well as some other damage. So I figure that I am done for the season. Maybe, we found a new engine the other night and may be able to get up and running soon.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqBB-CRykKhuuCMwKetzNX4SnV7LZUYAMfhyA95mOlyGg7be8BYcyzy6UQcieFsZIJxevCUvj-t9c_609yNKwOBrk7-2uRbxuBfysTlSupBJaRJ2YcacDwJvLmeDlDPb-u004pPjTGrfs/s1600/016.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqBB-CRykKhuuCMwKetzNX4SnV7LZUYAMfhyA95mOlyGg7be8BYcyzy6UQcieFsZIJxevCUvj-t9c_609yNKwOBrk7-2uRbxuBfysTlSupBJaRJ2YcacDwJvLmeDlDPb-u004pPjTGrfs/s320/016.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498595760302028050" /></a><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYfpEbDhatw1WSXWKyfRpC9sRg7xuKyrf5L2FPvZjIqBj3JNFF3clqYVqs288QK4i0UMty425Cc_4rBNLQpU9OqCC0Z0K04D9fnkMqR7w2i_N1Mp4iRfIdDtkuS6qAUzUA5TbqxcYyHk/s1600/012.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYfpEbDhatw1WSXWKyfRpC9sRg7xuKyrf5L2FPvZjIqBj3JNFF3clqYVqs288QK4i0UMty425Cc_4rBNLQpU9OqCC0Z0K04D9fnkMqR7w2i_N1Mp4iRfIdDtkuS6qAUzUA5TbqxcYyHk/s320/012.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498592806629591266" /></a><br /><br /><br />But after I got home from the class, the Sunday following, Dad started not feeling well, He had his first physical therapy appt, and Sis had a dentist appt that day as well. On the way home from the dentist I stopped and got him some 7Up, thinking that Maybe he just had an icky belly. On Tuesday he had his MRI and still wasn't feeling well, so I took him into the ER at the VA. Well after a long week of miscommunication and waiting to see what Dad's body was going to do, he went in for Surgery yesterday morning. They did not have to do any reconstructing of his bowel, but he did have some adhesion's and some blockages. They took him to ICU after the surgery for close supervision, and I will go see him today and hope that they can transfer him to a regular bed today. I don't think that he will be home by Thursday, and even if he is, he has a long belly incision and being in a car for 12 hours isn't a good idea. So we will go see the family in September. It also won't be has hot then, and it is still early enough in fall that we won't have to deal with snow on the mountains. Depending on how Dad is feeling and everything else going on, we may take a whole week and go to Idaho as well to see his Sister. We will see how he feels at that time and how everything else is going in our lives.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-9849473292206558922010-07-12T19:01:00.000-07:002010-07-12T19:14:06.634-07:00Wow 12 weeks alreadyWell I have been home for 12 weeks already. I should have gone back to work today. I did tell my wonderful boss about a month ago that I would not be able to come back. Dad still has so many appointments and so many things going on that even if I was to try and go back it would only be part time and not very reliable at that. <br /><br />So we have adjusted to life with me being home. I am doing more yard work and grocery shopping on my own, which I HATE by the way! (the grocery shopping, not the yard work) But we are half way through the summer and things are going ok. I have a garden growing with jalapenos, cucumbers, peas, and cauliflower. I also have tomatoes in big pots. I am looking forward to being able to harvest and use all the home grown goodness. <br /><br />We have been to some races, and we have taken Dad and Traci with us a few times. I feel a little jipped though,, we bought the motor home so we wouldn't have to sleep in the car trailer, and we are still sleeping in the car trailer! :) But it is alright since I am still getting the opportunity to race. And Cody has been great about helping out!<br /><br />We still have a busy month ahead of us. I have Drag Racing school this week,(I am so excited) and then next week Dad starts his physical therapy. Plus and MRI on his shoulder. Then we have another race on the 24th and 25th which I have a Dad sitter lined up, and then we are off to a Hansen family reunion! I am so not looking forward to the 12 hour drive in the heat, but it will be so great to see family for a happy event, and for more than a few hours.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-64028083882839500022010-06-02T11:43:00.000-07:002010-06-02T12:14:42.906-07:00Uggg!Yesterday was our 14 year anniversary, and we spent it in a bad mood. My Sis is being a pain. She has been defiant and not listening and just being a brat. I talked to her yesterday and she admitted that she is trying to push hubby and I apart so I could spend more time with her, and that she feels left out. I flat out told her that if she forces me to choose between the two of them that she will loose because I will choose my hubby over her. But that will also affect Dad. I can't afford to stay home and take care of Dad if she isn't here as well, and if she goes, I will have to put Dad in a Long Term Care facility and go back to work. It is all or nothing. <br /><br />We ended up making up and working things out, but we are both still so frustrated with her behavior. Most parents can look forward to their kids growing out of a difficult stage, but Sis will be stuck here forever. I just hope that she realizes that she has to adapt. She is not nor will she ever be the center of my universe. I know that sounds harsh, but my Mom, who I love, did the best she could with what she knew, and she made Sis the center of everything. Sis got a present on My birthday as a child, because Mom didn't think that she would understand why I was getting all the attention. I didn't get a present on her birthday because I could understand. And that is just a small thing, Mom would miss my soccer games or whatever to be at Sis' events. I did and do understand but it has made my life that much harder because I am not willing to give up who I am and what I want for her. She can blend in with the family, she can give up being the center of the world so that EVERYONE gets what they need. <br />I can see how easy it is to give up what you want for someone with special needs, but I need to maintain my life. I don't want to just be a caregiver. I want to maintain ME! I want to live my LIFE, and it is only a small part of my life that is a caregiver. I am still a wife and a person, a daughter, a friend, and a sister. I am not a single thing. I am a whole complete person, and I want to keep it that way.<br />I am so frustrated because I don't know how to get through to her that she is the one that is the cause of all her groundings and not being included. If she would what we ask with out the defiance, she would be included, but I am not willing to reward bad behavior. I have the energy to fight with her and not give in and back down like Mom used to do. <br /><br />I do have to stay that my husband has taken on so much, not only did he marry me, he has taken on my sis and now my father, and he is supporting us with all this turmoil and frustration. He is my Rock, and my sanity, my best friend, my love, and the world to me. I love him more today than I did on the day I married him. I had no idea when we married what life would bring, and it has never been boring, but through it all we have always been a good team! We are definitely soul mates. Not many people are as lucky as I am to have found my soul mate at 19. Thank you for an adventurous 14 years. Here is looking forward to the next chapters of our life.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-15568944041578520942010-05-20T12:11:00.000-07:002010-05-20T12:18:14.531-07:00Settling in,, I guessWell it has been a month now that I have been home, and I haven't been able to accomplish much of what I had wanted to. Caring for Dad takes alot of time, which I knew it would. I just didn't think it would be THIS MUCH. But with his PT and OT appts, that are in the middle of our morning, it really messes with the whole day. I think once we are done with those, it should really help. <br /><br />I am adjusting to the Suzie Homemaker role I guess. I have made bread (and it is edible) and I made two batches of Cupcakes to take to the race track for Cody's birthday last weekend. We had a blast. It was so nice to have the break. <br /><br />I have wonderful friends who stayed with Dad while we were gone. Cody won his class and I went to the Semi Finals, which is the Farthest I have ever been in a race and I was happy as a clam!<br />Here is a link to the picture from Cody's win http://www.madrasdragstrip.com/51610bswin.jpg<br />All in all it was a good weekend. <br /><br />I really think that things will work out. Dad is doing so much better, and although he doesn't need assistance to get out of his chair or bed anymore, he still needs ALOT of supervison. <br />I still have alot of adjusting to do, but we are making it work since that is what I do best! I make it work!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-2029564693200089392010-05-03T12:59:00.000-07:002010-05-03T13:18:36.617-07:00Week OneWell all I can say is WOW! What a week. We got Dad home on Tuesday and he had me up 3 times that night for bathroom trips. Wednesday he had me up once, Thursday the walkie talkie batteries died so he couldn't get me up, but it all worked out. It was a very tough week. He has no set routine yet, and we were kinda flying by the seat of our pants. I can't count how many times I walked up and down the stairs. Good for the legs and butt right? <br />I got the first taste of the insurance hell I am going to have to go through on Thursday when I got a phone call from the Trama Dr's from the ICU. VA denied the claims siting that the he has other insurance even though he doesn't have what they are saying he does and they know it! So I had to type up a letter and have Dad sign it stating that he doesn't have any other insurance and to please proccess his claims. So we mailed that off. Hopefully it works. Then when I went to get the mail on Friday there was 52 letter's of denial from the VA in the mail. 52! <br />I was able to find a friend to house/dad sit for the weekend so I could go to the races in Boise. Hubby left with the Motorhome and the Dogs on Wednesday. Some good friends of ours from UT that came up for the races, picked me up from the airport an took me out to the track. It was so awesome to have a weekend away. I have been stressing and on the go since October of last year. It has been one thing after another after another. If things come in 3's I should be set for the next 10 years!<br />We were able to visit my Inlaw's while in Boise. I miss seeing them. I am blessed with the worlds greatest in laws. At least that is my opinion. <br />Today we are getting a home visit from a RN to evaluate Dad for in home therapy. I have so much to do and I haven't gotten anything done. I need to clean the fish tank, but I don't want to start on anything until after the RN comes and goes. Plus Dad needs a pedicure and I am not touching his nasty feet so after the appt with the RN, we are going to go get that done. He has two appts tomorrow at the VA, so we will need to be up and outta the house by 6:45. That way I don't have to drive through downtown Portland during morning rush hour. So I won't get anything done tomorrow either. I guess I will have to be busy the rest of the week. And Hubby has to be gone this weekend for work. I have a whole new appreciation for anyone who stays home for any reason. I feel like I haven't accomplished squat but I have been busy all day. Every day. We definitly need to get a routine going and all that. Hopefully after this appt today we can start to figure that all out. I need a schedule to work well. If I don't have enough structure I get to easily distracted!RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1513899185419421582.post-4684250775792640722010-04-27T11:40:00.001-07:002010-04-27T12:05:21.467-07:00HomeToday is the day. Dad is home. We were told to go to the VA to pick up his medication, and of course, we got there, and no medication. We waited over 45 minutes to talk to the Dr or his nurse, and it didn't happen, so I scheduled an appt for this afternoon to get it resolved. The nurse has called to find out what is going on and we may not have to go back. I am expecting another call. <br /><br />It is very frustrating to not know what is going on! The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, and it sucks being caught in the middle. <br /><br />So far Dad has needed help to get up the stairs which I knew he would, and it hasn't been too bad, He is trying to be non needy, but I also understand that he is NEEDY right now and I expect it. <br /><br />I know that my life is going to be changing and I really think that I have done what I can to prepare, but I am sure that the reality will be completely different than my expectations. <br />I just want everyone to be happy and get what they need. I know that I will have to make sacrifices for that to happen. I hope that is appreciated. I am going to be giving up my extra income, my sense of self by not having a job and not contributing that way. I will be giving up my individuality and trying to become a selfless caregiver. How does one make that transition. I can see it when you are becoming a parent. I understand the desire to stay home with the baby, but most people in my situation would let someone else care for the parent. I know that would be easier on me, but I don't really trust someone else to do my job. I never have. Even with Dad being in Rehabs and everything else,I know he got alright care, but it is a JOB to the staff, most of them are there to collect a paycheck, not all of them CARE about the patient, and you can see it. Dad had some Great nurses and therapist, and he also had some not so great ones. I respect people who choose to go into the medical field, but damn it, if you are going to do it, do it for the right reasons. Don't do it because you think it will be easy to get a job. Care about the people that you are caring for, treat them with respect, they don't really want to be there, they would all rather be home, so make them welcome! Don't treat them like mindless children! Let them know what you need to do and why, don't just start doing things and then get mad when they resist! Dad told me of one nurse who just kept coming in and start undressing him for bed or a shower with out even a Hello how are you doing?- Really, How would you like that? I understand that you have a job to do, and you may have a time line, but BE NICE! It is a lot better for you and for your patients. Well I need to make lunch for Dad. So it begins.RockinCWifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16453477941563962787noreply@blogger.com0