I am so upset and frusterated right now, I feel like my life is over. I know that I am just tired from the lack of sleep, and irritated that the VA took so long to do a surgery on Dad while he just got weaker and weaker! He hadn't gained back enough weight from the fall in Feb, and two weeks of not eating for two weeks while he was in the hospital and them not getting him up and walking so he is just soooooo weak.
I am pissed that Dad doesn't qualify for State medical so I don't get any income to stay home with him, but I am fine with that, but it also doesn't help me find respite care. I really want to go to the races with Cody next weekend for MY birthday, but nope, I get to stay home and not do anything but take care of Dad. Then the week of my birthday I get to spend at the VA because Dad has 3 appts that week, the 17th the 18th (my birthday) and the 19th!!!!
I know it is childish to be whinning about the fact that I don't get to do anything for my birthday but at this point I don't even think that I will get to go out to dinner. Our Anniversary was runied as well, and I am just mad that I have to do this alone. I know that I have help from Cody and from some great friends but right now I feel lost in a sea of despair and hopelessness. And I know that I have to do this again!!! Dad still has to have his hernia repaired! So it will be another surgery and another turn with PT and OT, and people telling me how to make MY HOUSE more sutible for Dad. It just pisses me off that people don't seem to care that it is MY House and I have to live here too, and that I don't plan on turning my house into a retierment house! I need to be able to live here too!
I feel so alone in this struggle, and when I talk to Cody he lets me know how frusterated and irritated he is as well and I have no one that I can really vent to. If I vent to much to Cody we are going to end up in a fight because he is just as stressed out as I am, and knowing that I am stuck here doesn't help. I am so mad that I have to give up what I want to do! And Dad is so much more work right now than he was when he came home in April that I am just devistated! And maybe I am just irritated, but it seems like Dad isn't trying as hard to get back to where he was!
hang in there ang!!! we hear u on the HELP!!! dad and mom together are a lot of work and Joelynn does pretty good... but i could not imagine doing this all on ur own! I have mom and dad for christmas this year cuz it is my year!!! but I dont even know how i am going to get it done! I dont really have the room anymore in my house ( getting smaller every day) but all the extra stuff that they both need and the fact that mom doesnt drive anymore and they sooo cant get into my truck makes it really hard... guess we might just have to have christmas at there house for this year!! might solve all my worries and probs! but again hang in there and u can always vent to me!
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