Things are starting to fall in place. Dad is doing well, even though it is slow going, and training is going on at work! The new hire is working out alright, She needs to get some confinence, but that will come with time. I hope she show's up on Monday! The more I talk to Dad about how he is doing, the more I think that I will not be able to return to work after the 12 weeks of FMLA. I am very torn about that. I love my job. But my family needs me. Dad thinks that he has a cataract in his good eye. He is having a very hard time seeing anything, and I guess two years ago at his eye appt, they told him that one was starting they thought! So we will have to have that check out. Plus the hurnia surgery still needs to be done! OMG it sucks to be the sole caregiver! I hate that Cody and I have no help. Someone told me to contact my brothers and tell them that I needed help, but I couldn't count on them when it wasn't serious, and I am not about to open that can of worms, or deal with the years of negative for a few months of crappy help!
Dad is starting to walk a few times a day, and he is eating solid food, and has the trache out completely. He is making leaps and bounds on getting better but he has lost so much from the injury and the 3 weeks of sedation. It is going to be a long road. It is very hard to see your parent be so frusterated and so heartbroken about losing the ability to be independant. I wish I could fix it. That is who I am, I fix things! I make it work, I take what I have and I make the best of it. That is who I am, that is what I do. It breaks my heart to see my Dad get so upset and even cry about his situation. I want to fix it, I want to make it better now! I want to find and wave a magic wand to make everything work and be good!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Exhausted
Well it has been a tough week, We were shorthanded at work on Monday and Tuesday, and of course they moved Dad on Monday! I got the phone call at 1:30 pm that they were moving him at 2. Really Nice,, thanks for the warning. I was able to finish up what I HAD to get done at work, and left at 3. I love that my coworker let me leave. Tuesday was the day that Dad could talk! It was very nice to be able to hear him and not try to guess what he was trying to say.
Wednesday and Thursday Dad was exhausted when I got to the hospital. They are working him hard to get him rehabilitated and home.
But Sis is pushing buttons and being a Turd! I know that she in not getting what she wants right now.. but none of are! I have been neglecting everything! Husband, critters, house, work, everything! Sis isn't the only one who is only getting the bare minimum.
I am glad that we found someone for work. She starts on Tuesday. I hope to have her up and on the phones by Friday! We need to fast track her training so I can be ready to leave at a moments notice. Because that is probably all I will get!
They did another CT scan on Dad's hip today. I am not sure what the results were. I didn't get to see a Dr. tonight. Dad is worn OUT when I get there, and he is usually eating his pureed dinner and then he is ready for a nap. So I am not staying long, but I am trying to get up there every day. He called his Sister tonight from my phone, and talked to her for a few minutes. Dad is flustered with his memory gaps and everything. I tell him that he needs to focus on getting healthy and then we will worry about everything else. He was stressing about his quarterly life insurance,, and I told him not to worry about his bills. I am taking care of all of them. That is why we have me on his accounts. So in the event of something like this it is taken care of.
I am just exhausted. I am tired of all the running and all the work and being pulled in so many directions. All to soon though I will be home with so much time on my hands I will be going NUTS!
Wednesday and Thursday Dad was exhausted when I got to the hospital. They are working him hard to get him rehabilitated and home.
But Sis is pushing buttons and being a Turd! I know that she in not getting what she wants right now.. but none of are! I have been neglecting everything! Husband, critters, house, work, everything! Sis isn't the only one who is only getting the bare minimum.
I am glad that we found someone for work. She starts on Tuesday. I hope to have her up and on the phones by Friday! We need to fast track her training so I can be ready to leave at a moments notice. Because that is probably all I will get!
They did another CT scan on Dad's hip today. I am not sure what the results were. I didn't get to see a Dr. tonight. Dad is worn OUT when I get there, and he is usually eating his pureed dinner and then he is ready for a nap. So I am not staying long, but I am trying to get up there every day. He called his Sister tonight from my phone, and talked to her for a few minutes. Dad is flustered with his memory gaps and everything. I tell him that he needs to focus on getting healthy and then we will worry about everything else. He was stressing about his quarterly life insurance,, and I told him not to worry about his bills. I am taking care of all of them. That is why we have me on his accounts. So in the event of something like this it is taken care of.
I am just exhausted. I am tired of all the running and all the work and being pulled in so many directions. All to soon though I will be home with so much time on my hands I will be going NUTS!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Happy Dance Day~
Well they have Dad to the point that he can talk and eat real food! It was puree'd but it was real food! He was also able to have a conversation! He Asked if we could make a ramp for his walker out the back door. So we have some things to get done before he gets home, but he will be coming home!
I know that this is a short post, but I thought I would share the good news!
I know that this is a short post, but I thought I would share the good news!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Progress
Well today was a good day for Dad. They had him stand up! Granted he looked like the hunback of Norte Dame, but he was standing on his own (sorta) He had help from the PT and the Nurse, but he stood up for almost 3 minutes. Then they but him back in bed for about 5 minutes and then stood him up for another few minutes then set him down in a real chair! He should move to the other hospital on Monday or Tuesday. Which sucks for me since I will not be able to leave work to be there when he is transfered. But it is what it is.
Dad is very upset with how weak he is. I still don't think he realizes how long or had bad he has been hurt. He wants to come home so bad! and I want him home, but we need to get him healthy. It is hard to see him so upset. But He will get better, We are too stubborn not to get better!
Dad is very upset with how weak he is. I still don't think he realizes how long or had bad he has been hurt. He wants to come home so bad! and I want him home, but we need to get him healthy. It is hard to see him so upset. But He will get better, We are too stubborn not to get better!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tough day
Today was a bad bad day for me. I didn't know a person could cry that much in an 8 hour work day. I talked to my boss today and told him that we needed to get someone in and training so I could take FMLA. I think that is where we are going to start. I LOVE my job, I know so few people who can say that, and some who say it and don't really mean it. I don't ever want to work somewhere else. I have had great jobs before and jobs I have really liked, but nothing like this. I am exhausted. I really hope that 12 weeks will be enough,, but I really don't think it will be. I am heartbroken with the need to make this decision. But Family comes first.
Dad is doing a little bit better. He was going to transfer to a secondary hospital but he has a blockage in his stomach and they are not sure what it is, but they hope it will pass on it's own. We are doing the wait and see approach. At least he doesn't have to have surgery at this time. Hopefully we can transfer him early next week.
I see so many positives for everyone in my household, and some for me, but the only one who will be making sacrifice's is me. Is that selfish? I know that sounds horribly selfish, but it is true. I will be sacrificing my independance, and my social interaction with my peers, and my sence of accomplishment of a job well done. I know that I will never make a million dollars at my job, but I love it, I love that I can totally be myself, and I don't have to hide my tattoo's or dress up and I get to laugh and have fun and not worry about someone getting their nose out of joint.
Well I need to get some sleep, Tomorrow will be another long day.
Dad is doing a little bit better. He was going to transfer to a secondary hospital but he has a blockage in his stomach and they are not sure what it is, but they hope it will pass on it's own. We are doing the wait and see approach. At least he doesn't have to have surgery at this time. Hopefully we can transfer him early next week.
I see so many positives for everyone in my household, and some for me, but the only one who will be making sacrifice's is me. Is that selfish? I know that sounds horribly selfish, but it is true. I will be sacrificing my independance, and my social interaction with my peers, and my sence of accomplishment of a job well done. I know that I will never make a million dollars at my job, but I love it, I love that I can totally be myself, and I don't have to hide my tattoo's or dress up and I get to laugh and have fun and not worry about someone getting their nose out of joint.
Well I need to get some sleep, Tomorrow will be another long day.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday's
Today was a very bad day for me, I am stressed and maxxed out. They want to move Dad to a long term care facility to wean him off the vent. The webiste for this place said that the average lenth of stay is 25 plus days!!! OMG really? Does Dad really need another 3 fucking weeks on a vent?? He was breathing spontaniously all day today with very little pressure support. So I don't understand why he would he would need another 3 weeks on a vent!
I haven't actually talked to the Dr. I did get a phone call update from a Physicians Assistant today, but I am still not satisfied with the lack of answers! Is this place covered by the VA? they coudn't tell me. They could only tell me that they will have approval before they transfer him. I have a headache and a heartache and I am exhausted.
I am sure that we will keep Dad and Traci here. I know that it is feasable not to have them here. But We couldn't live with that choice. I know that there are many people who choose to abandon their families, but I would never be able to do that.
I haven't actually talked to the Dr. I did get a phone call update from a Physicians Assistant today, but I am still not satisfied with the lack of answers! Is this place covered by the VA? they coudn't tell me. They could only tell me that they will have approval before they transfer him. I have a headache and a heartache and I am exhausted.
I am sure that we will keep Dad and Traci here. I know that it is feasable not to have them here. But We couldn't live with that choice. I know that there are many people who choose to abandon their families, but I would never be able to do that.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Decisions
Well I was at the hospital for 6 hours today for 4 minutes with the Dr. Yet another new doctor, and still no real answers.
Sis is being a big pain in the ass. She doesn't react well to stress, and she is acting out horribly. She is not listening and she is just pushing buttons and it is so hard.
Hubby and I looked over our bills and our budget and discovered that is we make it tight we can make it without the rent and other income that we get from them. So now we have more decisions to make, if they recommend long term assisted living for Dad, do we also look at assisted living for Sis, and OMG have our house to ourselves? I don't know what that would be like. We wouldn't be able to race, at least not until we rearanged some monthly bills.
So know we have more options and more decisions to make and how to know what the right one. Do we put Sis and Dad in assisted living, and live our lives the way we would have with out them? Or do we make the sacrifices and keep them here?
I really don't know what to do, and how to make the decision.
Sis is being a big pain in the ass. She doesn't react well to stress, and she is acting out horribly. She is not listening and she is just pushing buttons and it is so hard.
Hubby and I looked over our bills and our budget and discovered that is we make it tight we can make it without the rent and other income that we get from them. So now we have more decisions to make, if they recommend long term assisted living for Dad, do we also look at assisted living for Sis, and OMG have our house to ourselves? I don't know what that would be like. We wouldn't be able to race, at least not until we rearanged some monthly bills.
So know we have more options and more decisions to make and how to know what the right one. Do we put Sis and Dad in assisted living, and live our lives the way we would have with out them? Or do we make the sacrifices and keep them here?
I really don't know what to do, and how to make the decision.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)